My friends, my joys

DIE HARD III
Herman Tiu Laurel
11/11/2005



Solace from my friends: Mentong, My deepest condolences. I can feel the pain through your column. When my eldest brother, Kuya, died on December 23, 1977, I tried to deny the pain I felt, rationalizing then. "what is one death compared to the millions that are dead or dying because of suffering. If I am to grieve for my brother's loss, then I must grieve equally for all those others, something I obviously did not do.'

As I watched his casket at the UP chapel on that Christmas eve, someone (I don't know who anymore) said, it is all right to grieve even if you don't grieve for all the others. After all, he is your brother. And second, you are not really grieving for him but for yourself because you have lost him.” - Raul (international civil servant)


….I share your pain in losing your mother. I have already lost my parents and three sisters younger than I am, and I know how it feels to lose family members forever. I, too, have my own thoughts about mortality. Your latest e-mail expresses the need to know the meaning and worth of life. God bless all your days. - Romy (retired AFP colonel)


…. my sincere sympathy to you all in the sad loss of your beloved Mother Maria Paz Ong Tiu-Laurel; it is sad but merciful that your Father Tiu Ching Po has thus far been spared the knowledge of her loss. I offer the following with great respect at this painful time of mourning. Your loved ones never die because we can bring them to our consiousness in all their loving splendour in a nano-second; in entirety; touch, see, hear them & smell their fragrances. Do it now; instantaneous 'di ba. I was once asked if I missed my own Mother; I replied in all truth. I watched the remains of my Mother lowered into her grave. but I have never missed her because I have never considered her dead; the shell that was buried was not my Mother, merely a worn out earthly garment; my Mother lives on forever only a thought away from me. My thoughts are with you old friend; give your Mother my respects - Regards
Titomike (retired sailor)


….I just read your latest column and the death of your mother. I can understand and empathize with how you feel. My sister also passed away on 7/27/2005 after an
unsuccessful operation (cancer) at the Metropolitan Hospital in Manila. I was there for 4 weeks, and she died in the middle of the 3rd week. Not only was I exhausted from taking care of her and the hospital stay, I also had to take care of the cremation and burial (bringing her to my hometown of Kalibo, Aklan).

She and I were very close and to lose her at a young age (41.5 years old) feels as if a big part of me is gone. We are a small family, my mother and a younger brother and me left.

I can feel for you ... and your thoughts about the meaning of life, and the continued struggle to do what is right. I am a Christian and therefore have a solace that my sister (who is also Christian) is now with God.

I wish to share my thoughts about the meaning of life..... It is a gift, a journey, and what we do with it defines us, our self, our soul. It is a difficult thing to do ... Living ... it is easier to just let the tide take us, BUT we have to continue fighting, and fight until the day we die. I hope the love of your family will help you through this rough time. Just wanted to know there are people who care, like me. Take care and God Bless. - Daniel Yu (Chicago)


First thing I read this morning was your column about your recent loss of your mother. I join with you in your grief. My mother passed away when I was barely seven years old, and too young to feel the real impact of that loss. Just the same, subsequent deaths in my family, in the occurrence of all of which I was not present, made me go through the pains you are now experiencing.

My wife joins me in this expression of condolence and in the prayer for the repose of the soul of your mother. She, too, is an avid reader of your column and we both hope that this loss to you will not remove one bit from your mission as a columnist, to point out what is not right in the country and suggest the solution for it. It is not your fault that the people whose attention you seek hear you, but they don't listen! God bless you and all your loved ones. - Mon (from U.S.)


I just got to know about the passing of your Mom thru your email. Mila and I send our condolences and prayers. Has your Mom been cremated or buried? Maranatha! - Cesar (activist friend now top corporate man)


Good AM, condolence, and i want to share my deep sympathy for you and your family. What you have said here in this column are really true and down to earth explanation of what our life is. Regards, - ricky (ofw, Saudi)